As you know from a previous post to my blog, my older sister had been found. Well, since then I have learned a lot. I would love to share some of the information, but again because it isn't my story, I refuse to divulge. However, it seems that she has decided that it was too much, too fast and so she has stepped back from the reunion - so to speak.
Frankly, I don't blame her one bit! She went from having her normal life with her family, to all of a sudden finding that she has a birth mother, a birth father, 5 birth sisters (3 from mine, 2 from birth mother's side), 4 siblings husbands and an unbelievable number of nieces and nephews. Heck - if it were me, I would do more than step back! I would probably hightail it in the complete opposite direction! I can't imagine for one minute what it must be like for her. My heart truly goes out to her and if there was a way, I would honestly like to let her know that I am ok with her decisions.
Well, I know that sounds horrible. Saying I am ok with her decisions... what? Seriously, they are her decisions to make and it doesn't matter what any of us think! She has to do this in her way and in her time and there is nothing any of us can do to change that. She doesn't know any of us, we are virtually strangers to her. I know for certain that 'Lifetime' has gotten it wrong time and time again. Family reunions are NOT always hearts and tears and bubblegum. There are so many hurdles to get over or around, I will not be surprised if in a year from now I still haven't spoken or emailed with her.
Yep, I have had no contact with her whatsoever. At first I will admit I was jealous because Teresa and my dad were emailing with her, then dad talked to her on the phone. But I have started to look at it from a different perspective. See, when you come in to our family, you 'get' the family but you also 'get' the flaws. No one is perfect obviously, so that's just how it is. Me? I am a little bit OCD, I am a partial mysophobe, I thirst for knowledge and I am a geek to the core. Dad? He is at times impatient and wants the outcome of any situation immediately. Tara, she is just busy. You would be lucky to catch her on the phone without making an appointment with her first. Rhonda, she is the baby and as such, she is spoiled. Yes, I said it. So? lol
The one thing I am most certain of though is that once my sister entered our family, even the partial way that she has, whether there is any future contact or not, she is stuck with us. Let me clarify this though... I can only speak for myself, My heart is like Fly Paper and she is a fly. She came close and got stuck in my heart. She may not know me, and may never know me, but I will carry her with me from here on out. <3
The packers/movers will be here on the 23rd of this month to pack and load all of our belongings. I have been working over the past couple of months to get rid of unwanted things. Things we haven't used since we moved here, things we don't use now that we used to and things that are simply just taking up space. What a trial it has been. Going through everything with a fine tooth comb is tedious and a giant pain in the arse. I know it has to be done though, because when we moved up here we were overweight, and if we move overweight again, we have to pay the difference. That is definitely not an option.
So, I have had a lot of stuff for sale and free - using facebook as a tool to help get rid of stuff. I can honestly say that I have gotten more hits from it than craig's list or kijiji. And to be honest, I prefer somewhat knowing who is taking what or coming to my house to pick something up. Craig's list creeps me out that way - emails are one thing, but giving out your address to complete strangers - yeah, not up my alley.
Starting tomorrow, I will be putting aside that which I am keeping for our travel. Clothes, laptop, personal hygiene etc. Can't keep a whole lot though because this time we aren't renting a uhaul trailer. If we did, it would be well over a grand for the number of days we need it, and the Army is only going to pay us for 3 days travel. Yep - that's it. We get paid to go from here to Ft. Campbell and anywhere else we go in between is solely on us. Makes sense to me.
But here is the kicker:
James and I in the truck with the dog, 2 cats, our luggage and the 32" flat screen. James is insistant on keeping the small flat screen so that when we stay at our friends place for the 20+ days before we leave, he still wants to be able to play his xbox and watch his netflix, blah blah blah. What a big baby! So yeah, all of us crammed into the Mountaineer! How are we going to do it? I have no idea, but I am sure it isn't anything a little packing tape can't fix. ;)