Saturday, November 24, 2007

The House is cold.

The house is cold. The furnace runs but it is still cold. What makes it cold? The empty spot in bed next to me, the empty spot at the dinner table, cooking for two, wrapping Christmas gifts by myself a second year in a row, thinking about putting up the Christmas tree, anything that has to do without you makes it feel cold.

Had another Thanksgiving without you. Funny how fast the time went by, and now how slow it goes knowing you should have been home by now. Didn't go Black Friday shopping in the wee hours, I was too tired from cooking the day before and really didn't want to go without you again. Went in the afternoon instead. Still wasn't the same.

Others see me in a fantastic mood, amazing how I am now able to hide my complete true feelings. Always up, always cheerful and looking to have fun - but inside my heart is crying out for you. Things just aren't the same without you.

Sure, some people fill the void, my 'brother' tries to do a good job, but he is missing his Soldier too. My girls.... they try too but there is only so much they can do when in the same situation. Our son, well, he tries harder every day to get under my skin and prove he knows everything, when in fact he still needs to be taught so much - only by you.
Did I mention the house is cold? It is waiting patiently as I am, for the warmth that is you.

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