Here I sit... Contemplating

We made it to Ft. Drum safe and sound. In a shorter amount of time than we expected. We were going to stop in Cleveland to go see the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and a friend of mine, but we didn't think it all the way through. Having the dog and 2 cats with us was a challenge, and finding hotels that were pet friendly was a huge pain in the butt. We did alright, but still, had we stopped in Cleveland, the animals would have had to stay in the hotel by themselves, to which most hotels do not like pets being left unattended.

So, instead we drove right through. We started out late on Thursday, leaving Killeen around 5pm. We had so many extra things to do that some of the other stuff was deleted from our plans. The first night we drove to Hope Arkansas. Quiet little town where President Bill Clinton was born. Not much to see from the Interstate of course.

We left Hope on Friday, and drove to Carrollton Kentucky.  The sights were awesome, and the hills and valleys were absolutely beautiful. (Some of the hills though took a toll on our gas tank!) Of course, gas prices started to rise as soon as we left Texas, but there were a few that were still under $4 a gallon.

Saturday we woke and left Kentucky, drove to the Jeffersonville Outlet Mall between Cincinatti and Columbus Ohio - which a friend told me about. We didn't spend much but we got the chance to get out of the truck and stretch and walk. I stood in the courtyard like a fool and yelled as loud as I could.... "Where are you Patty?"... haha! (Inside joke!)

Once we were done at the outlets, we hopped back in the truck and drove the rest of the way here. It was pretty long and at times rather boring, but we played mad libs and we did a few games of 6 degrees with movies and actors. We hit the toll road and it was pretty much clear sailing from there.

Gas up here is pretty crazy. We use mid-grade in the truck, so we have been looking at $4.25-4.35 a gallon. Yes, that is the price ON POST. We are still in the hotel, but we are second on the list for housing on post, so that is a good thing. Some things are more expensive here while other things appear to be cheaper. Milk is cheaper by about a dollar, meats are a lot cheaper, some fresh veggies are a little more expensive, thank goodness for Sam's Club because without it I would scream!

Cigarettes are definitely more expensive here. In Tx on post I would pay about $33 for a carton of Marlboro's, here on post they are $53! Don't quite understand how that works.

Post here appears to be ok. The bowling alley is a big let down. 16 synthetic lanes, one summer league and it is singles, a few leagues in the fall, but they don't open until 4pm during the week. Blech! Another alley downtown is really beat up. It has 16 lanes too and looking from the outside.... I do not want to go in. We did find an alley outside of town that looks pretty promising. 24 wood lanes, formerly AMF, now owned by MOR Bowling Inc. Tons of leagues and cheap daytime games. This area however doesn't have a single travel league, so I am out of luck there. I guess that just means that as a family we are going to have to travel ourselves to different cities to check out lanes and such.

It rained here today. Funny thing.... I thought I was getting away from tornado warnings and crazy weather. Not a chance! Had a tornado warning today and one did touch down south of us. I guess I forgot how the Great Lakes kick up storms. Ah well, such is life with Global Warming....

That's all I have for now. I have a ton of pics that I will eventually get loaded up here. I am waiting for my computer instead of using hubby's laptop to do that though.

We love and miss everyone!

Bowling Tournament, Softball, Horton and a Pepsi!

The City Bowling Tournament is this weekend and I am raring to go! Team on Saturday and Doubles and Singles on Sunday. Our team is sponsored by none other than Slaughterhouse Tattoos! So yeah, I have 2 tats but because of the shirts we have to wear,  only one will be visible. In the spirit of fun, us Girls are going to get some fake tattoo’s and put them where they can be seen. Might even help me to decide what and where I want my next tattoo! ;)

James is in the tournament as well, and his team is sponsored by Slaughterhouse as well. His softball team is sponsored by them too. Now, softball is another story all together. I guess I am just overly annoyed by it, but if you have paid to play ball, it would seem logical to show up and play right? All mens team and here goes LaDon the other night having to play because of the 15+ players, only 8 decided to show up! Way to go Girl!!! Show them how it’s done!! Wish I had of been there to scream from the bleachers for ya!!! w00t!

And so it is Easter Weekend. Aside from bowling there really isn’t much else going on I guess. We had planned on doing a dinner thing, but now James bowls in the afternoon on Sunday so I guess we aren’t. We did go the other day to see Horton Hears A Who. What an awesome movie! Loved the entire thing. Brought back lots of memories too, now that I just turned 37.... Good Lawd I am old!

Well, I am going to go drink my Pepsi and head out with James. He needs to get tats touched up yet again... all about him and his tats don’t ya know! LOL

Who knew Family would be like this?

People piss me off! As most of you know, my Aunt who was like a mother to me passed away in November. I am still dealing with this loss daily, and slowly but surely, I am getting by. Surprisingly it does get easier with each passing day. But I never realized how truly money hungry people are!

Annie didn’t have a will or life insurance. Instead Annie had this superannuation thing that she paid into for years through her job, which also came with death benefits and such. My Mom is the beneficiary and she was the only one named. No sooner did relatives find this out, they started coming out of the woodwork, acting like they were best friends with Annie, with their hands out looking for something that might be coming to them! I know this happens all the time and it is nothing new, but seriously, I never thought in a million years that my family was like this at all!

So, my Mom paid for the cremation and the memorial service (with the help from one of her sisters and one of her nieces) but not so much from anyone else. After the service, give or take a week, her phone starts ringing. "What are you going to do with the money? Who is getting what from Anne? How much are you getting?" Not once did anyone stop to ask my Mom how she was doing!!! Mom and Annie were best friends. They are the two youngest out of 9, inseperable since their teens. And NOT ONE single effing person cared enough to ask my Mom how she was doing! All they cared about was the stupid effing money that was supposed to be coming!!!! As a matter of fact, my Aunt apparently owed one of her brothers money (she borrowed from him) and he called a lawyer, instead of talking to my Mom, and put a lien on my Aunts car in order to get his money back!!! I am so disgusted right now! Annie would be throwing a huge fit right now if she were here and knew what her so called family was doing!

As for my sister and I? We talk to my Mom every day and always ask her how she is doing. Like us, it is getting easier for her everyday as well. Oh and as for money..... my sister and I have both said we want nothing to do with it! Thank goodness we are nothing like that side of the family... except for like our Mom and Annie of course!

(rant 1 - I am sure there are more to come cause it has been a while)

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda

It is getting closer! The day that we leave out of the Pain in the arse town! I can’t hardly wait! Of course I don’t want to leave because of the friends I have made, and will always cherish, but the time has come and it must be done!

I will miss the hot summers and very mild winters, I will miss BBQ-ing in December, but I know I can still do that out in the snow. I will miss being so close to three major cities for entertainment and such. I will miss the outlet malls and shopping anywhere but here. I will miss the post having 2 PX’s and Commissaries, because it is the largest post StateSide, all the others have only 1 each. I will miss Yank Sing Buffet, because right now it only appears to be a Texas thing!!!

I won’t miss the crazy storms that pop up out of nowhere, spinning off tornado warnings and hail the size of tennis balls! I won’t miss the restaurants around here, because they all suck (maybe that’s because we have been here too long)!! I won’t miss the flooding downpours, or the windstorms, I won’t miss the fact that there is nothing to do here AT ALL! I am sure I could keep going on what I am not going to miss, but right now my mind just keeps telling me what I will miss.

I will miss my Best Friend, the one who can finish my sentences without me having to say a word. I will miss my Big Brother, for without him life can sometimes seem a little dull. I will miss my Columbian Sister and the BayBaa! Without you life will seem colorless! Oy! It looks like this is heading in a very long direction so I will stop right there for now.

Yep, I am getting ready to leave this place. It has been a blast but the time has come. Adios, so long, farewell, and all that crap! Hahahaha!

Blah blah blah! I know you really dont know exactly what it is that I am talking about but that is how I do things I guess. Everyone knows that I often have brain farts and it looks like this is heading in that direction!! Hahahaha

Luego

Life Changes

I've finally got my shoes on the right feet.

Sounds like a personal problem right? Well, I have learned some very hard lessons over these past few months, ones I thought I couldn't bounce back from. Seems like normal, life likes to throw a curve ball at you, to see if you are paying attention.

Most of you already know a lot of the stuff that has gone on.... hubby getting sick and going to Germany, other crap.... but there was a life change that I just went through that you don't know about - one that affected me deeply, shook me to the core of my being.

My Aunt Anne, my rock, my lesson teacher, my best friend, passed away on November 26th.

She was a strong, independent woman. The kind of person who would say exactly what she thought, when she thought it. When my parents divorced, my family became extended. Anne moved in with us, in order to help my mom and help finish rearing my sister and I.

She loved us like we were her children, and we loved her like she was our mother. She taught us independence, loyalty, stubborness and love. She would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it, never once thinking about herself and what she might need. She would scrape the barrel clean if she thought it would help you in any way, shape or form.

Anne taught me things that I never thought I would learn. She always made sure I was successful at anything I tried to do, and she was a very hard judge of character. Anne never really liked any of the guys I dated. She always felt like I was selling myself short, and only dating a person because they were there. Except for James. She loved James.

Sometimes she could be judgemental, but that was only when she had my best interest at heart. She didn't want me to leave, and any time I spoke with her she was always asking when I was coming home to see her. She cried more the day I left than my mom did. Like I said, she was a Mom to me.

In the past year, Anne started to get sick. Her diabetes had started to get worse, her kidneys were not functioning properly, and she had started to get cataracks. See, Anne was a large woman and people knew something wasn't right when she started to lose a lot of weight. But she had been going to the doctor and it all was being taken care of. (My sister is thankful that I hadn't seen Anne in a while, because that way my memories of her are vibrant ones, and not ones from her illnesses.) I talked to Anne quite a few times, and it broke my heart that I could not be there for her while she was going through all of this.

The coroner said she died from a heart attack a day or two before she was found. She was all alone. I feel relief because I know she is no longer in pain, or suffering with her illnesses, but I feel guilty because I can't remember the last time I spoke to her. I had gotten caught up with feeling sorry for myself because of the extension and James not being home when he should. I had gotten caught up with planning something and had gotten caught up with just normal daily activities, that I didn't think to call her to see how she was doing. I feel guilty because I know when she passed, I was out shopping at 4 in the morning that Sunday trying to get a freaking $20 gift card free. I feel guilty because I was buying a new Fossil purse while she was helpless in her time of need.

Like I said, I've finally got my shoes on the right feet, and now all the pain that is left is the pain in my selfish heart for having lost her. I wrote her a letter, that was read at her Memorial. (See, her oldest sister felt it necesary to get all the arrangements done quickly, and thus I could not attend.) It has been hard, but day by day I am getting through, by the Grace of God I am getting through, and with Psalm 23 I am getting through.

"Today I say Goodbye to one of my Best Friends. I say Goodbye to the one person I thought would always be there. Annie was one of the toughest and strongest women I know. You either loved her or hated her. I LOVED HER. She was hard on me when needed, and helped to teach me how to be independent, how to not worry about what others think. She taught me how to be stubborn, and to ask questions. Annie loved me unconditionally, the type of love normally found in parents and children. That's because, to Annie I was one of her daughters ~ I will love her forever, I will miss her forever.

Heaven received a New Angel, and she will always be with me. I Love You Annie."

The House is cold.

The house is cold. The furnace runs but it is still cold. What makes it cold? The empty spot in bed next to me, the empty spot at the dinner table, cooking for two, wrapping Christmas gifts by myself a second year in a row, thinking about putting up the Christmas tree, anything that has to do without you makes it feel cold.

Had another Thanksgiving without you. Funny how fast the time went by, and now how slow it goes knowing you should have been home by now. Didn't go Black Friday shopping in the wee hours, I was too tired from cooking the day before and really didn't want to go without you again. Went in the afternoon instead. Still wasn't the same.

Others see me in a fantastic mood, amazing how I am now able to hide my complete true feelings. Always up, always cheerful and looking to have fun - but inside my heart is crying out for you. Things just aren't the same without you.

Sure, some people fill the void, my 'brother' tries to do a good job, but he is missing his Soldier too. My girls.... they try too but there is only so much they can do when in the same situation. Our son, well, he tries harder every day to get under my skin and prove he knows everything, when in fact he still needs to be taught so much - only by you.

Did I mention the house is cold? It is waiting patiently as I am, for the warmth that is you.

It's been a while...

Since I have logged in here.

I was told tonight that I am a very busy person anymore, and I guess it is true if you count all the bowling I have been doing and in general just getting out of the house. I guess I go through these phases like I go through my "I don't want to be bothered" phase. My friend says I go through them like I go through tampons! TMI I know! lol

Not much has been happening. I have to update some of you on the deployment and Mike and bowling, I am sure that will eventually come. When? Who the hell knows!!!

Thanksgiving is around the corner, gobble gobble, and then Christmas will be bringing up the rear! Not so much fun knowing that Mike and I will be doing it alone again but hey! What the hell more could I ask for right?

Doing some research, for those who know me know that I am a vast book of useless knowledge, so look for a bulletin from me soon. What it will contain??? Who the hell knows!! (I guess I like that saying right now)

Do you miss me? I miss you! I can't believe that it was almost 2 weeks since my last login - ah well, sue me! I will try and be more up to date but I have stuff going on or off - whatever your pleasure.

K - so that's all for now. Much love and crap!

Tam